How to Support Disabled Dignity
Or: Actions for Honoring the Humanity of Disabled People
Image Description: A cement wall painted white with colorful vertical stripes and a message painted in black script that reads: “make people feel loved today”.
During this time of researching and reflecting on the concept of disabled dignity, I realized that dignity is not something that someone else can grant me (or even truly take away). Dignity is inherently, innately possessed by each and every person — disabled or not. Our fundamental existence ensures us of dignity.
The world around me has certainly treated me poorly on many occasions. Ableism has tried to strip me of my humanity and dignity. (And it keeps trying!) But nevertheless, I remain intact with my human dignity for which I should be treated respectfully and equally by others. The ongoing denial of my rights and the corresponding mistreatment doesn’t make me any less dignified, but it certainly does reflect poorly on society.
So, the question emerges: if we wanted to do better in supporting the dignity of disabled people, what would that look like?
Respecting disabled people as equally human.
It may seem obvious, but just this week I experienced several encounters where I left knowing that the people on the other end didn’t see me as a fully human and valid person entitled to respect and equality. Yup. It starts there.
Are we seeing the disabled people around us? Do we understand they are people just like us? Do we embrace the fact that they are part of the world with us, just trying to live their lives as best they can? Do we see their advocacy requests not as distractions or burdens, but as part of our responsibility to uphold inclusion and fairness for all — that in their position, that is what we would unquestionably expect and demand?
Honoring the autonomy and choices of disabled people.
Once people have a grasp on the concept of disabled people being actual and real humans, the next step is easy. Every person has their own sense of what they like, how they want to be treated, and their preferences and choices. So, it’s simple: honor their decisions like you would your own. It’s a part of the whole “do unto others like would be done to you” mantra.
For example, a particular airline likes to tell me who can push me in my own wheelchair despite my assertion of my own bodily autonomy and choice to say “no thanks, I trust my husband to drive my wheelchair while I am in it and no one else.” My decision comes from experience, where I have been crashed, almost dumped over, and other dangerous situations because an inexperienced person thinks they know better how to push my wheelchair than an actual expert. My wheelchair is not a toy — it is part of my person. Therefore, my choices about how to handle it should be respected (especially when catastrophe threatens me with bodily harm). Yet, I keep having this same argument with the airline because they refuse to acknowledge and accept my well-reasoned decision.
A great and easy-to-understand set of guidelines about interacting with disabled people can be used to help with many situations, but it boils down simply to: ask the person and respect their choices. Talk to them (not some other person accompanying them) and really listen to what they are saying. When it’s put plainly like that, it really doesn’t sound like it should be so hard to do.
Proactively self-educating and removing barriers to inclusion.
The work of supporting disabled dignity can be done not just through everyday interactions, but also through choices of seeing and understanding. For example, reading works written by disabled people to comprehend their perspectives (in their own view, not filtered through others). Reading newsletters, reporting, books, and other works by disabled people brings a direct interaction and opportunities for insight. The same goes for visual art, music, film, and dance. All of the arts and communications media have disabled people creating and sharing their unique knowledge if we only seek it out.
The second part of this is to become part of the solution. If you see discrimination, say it. If you find a barrier, complain about it. Ask disabled people in your community what you can do to support making it more inclusive and accessible to them. It is tiring for us to be waging these battles in isolation by ourselves and not see or feel the support of nondisabled people as we advocate to remove barriers, evolve attitudes, and become more equally included.
While we humans already are born with our dignity intact, the world has a lot more work to do in honoring disabled dignity. All of us can contribute to this understanding and support the dignity inherent to disabled people.
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Wonderful piece, Kelly! I've gotten so much out of your disabled dignity series. Thank you.
"Do we see their advocacy requests not as distractions or burdens, but as part of our responsibility to uphold inclusion and fairness for all — that in their position, that is what we would unquestionably expect and demand?" Just one of many good points in this piece. Kelly, FYI-the link was not successful. ("page not found")