Bonus: Kelly Interviews Kelly: The Sequel!

Or: An Exploration of Common Unhelpful Encounters

Photo by Matt Botsford on Unsplash

Image Description: An older style silver radio microphone in front of a dark violet background.

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Dear Readers, You ask and I shall deliver another edition of Kelly interviewing Kelly. Well, you didn’t really ask, but here I am anyway. Hope you enjoy! Send in your questions or ideas for a future interview session. Thanks for being here and supporting Rolling With It! Best, Kelly

Since our first interview was a hit, I had to sit down with you again to continue the discussion. Hat tip to reader Cal for the idea to ask about the silly things people ask or say to you about your disability. This is a good topic because it happens a lot, like just about every time you leave the house or even when you don’t — virtual words can cut too, people!

Anyway, let’s start with a basic and frequent one: “Do you follow the speed limit in that wheelchair?” How do you handle comments of this type and how does it make you feel?

First, thanks for this line of discussion and giving me the opportunity to reflect on common things people say that aren’t exactly helpful. Thanks again to Cal for bringing up this topic. It’s funny because a lot of it is so frequent I don’t really notice it anymore. It’s kind like, “meh, again?” But these remarks deserve a little deconstruction and thought.

We (meaning people everywhere) can get a little lazy in our human engagement or maybe we are feeling surprised or shy when we encounter someone new or different to our personal experience. Ultimately, we may not know what to say, so we resort to cliches that can get uncomfortable for the recipients, like me in these examples.

Perhaps the best thing we can do for our panicking minds when we encounter a new person or a disabled person or just someone we are not used to is: to just take a breath. Yup, one breath. Then after that breath, remind yourself they are just a person and you can just say hi. That’s perfectly OK! No need to be clever (or think you are) or say anything fancy. Just breathe and remind yourself they are just another person, not so different from you.